Life story
January 20, 1925
Born in Bombay, South Auckland New Zealand on January 20, 1925.
April 16, 2006
Passed away on April 16, 2006 at the age of 81.
April 21, 2006
Eulogy from Des Rowe, family friend, delivered at Tom's funeral.....
My intention when I prepared this eulogy was to emphasise three elements. I wanted to note Tom's importance to the Rowe family, a brief assessment of Tom as I see him and third, a bit about his remarkable sense of humour. As it turns out, I have been able to deal with the first two elements but not the third.
Its not often that the Rowe family gets together. Christmases apart, the only time in the past 5 years we have been together, was Julian's wedding. Well, all five of us are here now, to mourn Tom.
The Rowe and Hall families met in Suva in 1977. Tom was working there as an adviser to the Fiji Government, under New Zealand Aid. I was a junior diplomat in the High Commission. Theoretically, Tom was to report to me. He didn't see the point in doing so and I agreed. I had to. If he needed anything, he would grizzle and chew my ear until what he wanted was delivered.
Our working relationship was only a small part of the families'
relationship. As much as we can remember, the foundation of that relationship was the fact Damian and Julian went to the same pre-school. Eileen and Helen took them. That is why the Rowes are here now.
Parenthetically, I should explain that Damian and Julian were as thick as thieves from day one. They did a fair bit of growing up in each other's company. Helen and I probably know only about 10% of what they got up to. We do not need to know any more.
In Suva, the families saw a great deal of one another. We often went to the same parties. We were often in each other's houses. It didn't matter if the drinks were water, tea, coffee or alcoholic – we talked and we talked. The puns were bad and the jokes worse. But no topics were off the table. We always put the world to rights; and in the process we found out what made Tome and Eileen tick. We found that we had many values and drives in common. There were some serious occasions. Helen and I accompanied Eileen and Tom to the church in Suva to celebrate their 25th wedding anniversary. (We were chuffed, 25 year's later, to join a much greater throng as they celebrated their
50th.) Such was the Hall's role in our life that there was something of a hole when they returned to New Zealand in late 1978/79.
We returned to Wellington in 1980. Over the next few years, we came to meet Elizabeth, Barney, Cecilia and Tony (we had met John and young Tom in Fiji when they were on holiday) and we came to realize what Tom and Eileen had unleashed on the world. And we found that – and I hope the Hall kids will not mind what I say now – that they have absorbed some of their Dad's key attributes – a noisy, bubbly approach to life and a respect for others. Would that all fathers be able to say the same.
What do I make of Tom? I think he was someone special:
he had a strong set of personal ethics, many of which were formed in his church or in his upbringing;
he adored his family, all of them;
he had a natural courtesy and a care for others. It never took more than two minutes from one's arrival at the Hall house before one was asked what one wanted to drink. Julian tells a story of Tom being concerned that she did not have sufficient leg room when they were out in a car. Jill Protested that she had ample. When they all got out of the car, Tom settled the issue by moving his chair forward.
Tom was open-minded and he loved ideas. He loved dissecting them, analyzing them. He didn't mind ridiculing them but he didn't ridicule their author, especially if they were in the same room;
But I will remember Tom for his boisterousness, his noise, his vigour, his zest for living, his elan. He knew how to live. That is enough for me and for the Rowe family. We will miss him.
April 21, 2006
Eulogy delivered by Tom's Son John at Tom's funeral.....
We are all Tom’s People
Tom’s people are people of faith
Tom instinctively trusted and loved people. His life was all about people.
We have talked about symbols that represent Tom to us, and my brother Tony said “He was centered on people..people are his symbols”
Tom’s faith in people has made diverse friendships across generations, racial groups and creeds. He was even able to maintain friendly relationships with a catholic woman of Irish parentage
Tom’s people are joyful
Dad enjoyed the absurdity of life, often laughing at himself and never laughing at the misfortune of others. He had a great sense of humor, with a laugh to match
When Damian was still small enough to sit in a highchair, Dad’s gales of laughter would start him off crying.
Mum tells me that someone they knew in Auckland would make sure he went to the same comedy at the pictures as Tom to just to hear his laugh.
He loved the pun and enjoyed the gentle humor in children’s books.
He was inclined to irreverence but always maintained a basic respect for people and organizations that stood for truth and justice.
Tom’s people are innovative
Not too many people could see uses for old cabinet driers. But for Dad they became the “Westinghouse” for many treasures.
Tom’s people are on a quest for the truth
He had a wide avenue of interest: science, politics, culture, music, architecture, technology, and theology.
He had a critically questing, but not cynical, mind. He was veracious reader and he examined every avenue to arrive at the best of everything.
Tom’s people are enriched by him and his opinions
He maintained lifelong relationships. People he and Eileen met as newly- weds in the upper valley are here today, more than fifty years later.
In the days before Japanese Imports brought affordable, reliable cars to New Zealand, they shared the necessity of an active interest in cars.
Tom worked with friends and neighbors fixing up elderly British vehicles.
Ivan Skinner, a friend from those days recalls at least one engine being reconditioned on the dining table in Pinehaven.
He also recalls Tom being able to give an informed opinion on the best car to buy from ₤50 to ₤50 000.
Dad’s interest in cars also indicates another dimension about his opinion. It was not based on taste alone. Tom enjoyed style with substance. He would appreciate the design of a car but he would always lift the bonnet and have a look at the engine.
Tom’s people are generous.
Tom was on the steering committee that built this church. He was on working bees at St. Brendan’s school and ones that built the Pettit centre where we will have our Cup of Tea after Mass. He and Eileen were always helping at the Fairs for the “Home of Compassion” and the SMSM convent.
Senior net, Adult Bible study, and numerous charities have benefited from his time and money.
In Malaysia and Fiji they befriended younger people who sought advice and guidance, and at times, solace from people twice their age.
Kew our amah in Malaysia became part of our family and always had Mum and Dad’s deepest love and admiration.
In his last few weeks he drove up to Auckland, down to the Waikato and the Coromandel. It was Tom’s farewell tour.
He was conscious of the gathering of three of his children and their spouses around his death bed, even getting Barney and Cathy from the Rolling Stones Concert.
His last moments were a gift to us.
The little dialogue mantra that Mum and Dad shared.. she saying “Love You” he saying “Love You More” will be treasured by me for the rest of my days.
People of faith
People of joy
People of innovation
People questing for the truth
People enriched
People of generosity
We are all Tom’s People
